Standing at the bus stop today, I saw this woman walking by and it wasn't anything I hadn't seen before. You know, the shorter skirt, relatively toned body, thinks she's hot as hell, that stuff. Props for all of that stuff, truly. BUT (there's always a but huh?), she looked the color of an Oompa Loompa! I'm gonna say this straight up because that's how I roll right? NOBODY LOOKS GOOD IN FAKE TANNER OK?
Even when well-applied, it still looks messed up and sloppy - you might appear thinner (which is why lots of people want that "healthy glow") but you also look like perhaps you have some sort of septic backup going on internally! Either go to a tanning bed or just come to terms with your luminescence and before you hate on me for suggesting the "unhealthier" tanning bed, don't be acting like health is really on your mind when you put a bunch of funky chemicals on your body. Oh yeah, and cover your feet please - the hooker heals don't go quite that high ok? As I've said before, your freedom of expression stops when it meets my eyes. Sorry Luv.OK, I'm better now and can go back to being loving and kind. Shit, I forgot to say what my Texas friends say after being mean so here goes: "Bless her heart."
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